Graphic Designer Vs Font

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Four fonts walk into a bar.
The barman says, "Get out! We don't want your type in here."

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How many designers does it take to change a light bulb?
Couldn't say--ask an account executive.

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How many web designers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three. One to change the structure, one to update the style, and one to blog about the inadequate bulb support offered by today’s socket manufacturers.

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What font did the astrologist use to write the daily horoscopes?
Futura

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1st Designer: “Wow, you always have so many fonts, where do you get them from?”

2nd Designer: “Oh they come from Monaco, Geneva, Chicago, New York… I get them delivered at various Times throughout the day…”

1st Designer: “By who?”

2nd Designer: “A Courier!”

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What did Helvetica say to Arial?
You're such a copy cat.

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What did the horse say to Bordeaux?
Why the long type face?

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One font meets the other in Rome. He asks: "Hey, are you a roman too?" "No," says the other, "but i'm an Italic!"

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A font walks up to Gill Sans and asks: "do you want to go out with me?". But Gill Sans says "no". "Why don't you want to go out with me?" the other font asks. Gill Sans: "Because you're Grotesque!"

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Graphic Designer Humour

1. You've almost rear-ended the car in front of you because you were analyzing a font on a billboard.

2. You get pissed when a free Photoshop brush you download is less than 1000px in size.

3. You'd rather study the paisley pattern on your boyfriend/girlfriend's shirt than listen to what he/she has to say.

4. You can use keyboard shortcuts at light speed, blindfolded, but you can't type a paragraph of text without staring at the keyboard.

5. You've had "Software Nightmares," when you've been working way too much.

6. You consider meals interruptions.

7. You've learned your lesson and stopped using the word "final" in any file name when saving.

8. You clean your keyboard more often than you wash your car.

9. You've intentionally given up trying to explain your projects to non-designers.

10. You see CMYK and RGB like Neo sees the Matrix.

11. You'd rather organize your desktop than your sock drawer.

12. When you heard that Adobe was aquiring Macromedia, you had a Design Orgasm.

13. When you look at Album art all you see are grunge Photoshop Brushes. (Then you see the album art a couple minutes later)

14. You've Photoshopped out a watermark for a comp or mock-up.

15. You've actually $paid for a font.

16. You've totally slaughtered a great design concept because the client thinks he/she knows best. (everyone thinks they are a designer)

17. The amount of words you've written with a sharpie labeling burned discs total more than the amount of words you've read in novels.

18. You've had to explain to a client that a layered file wasn't part of the deal.

19. You've kept a ragged concert ticket just so you could scan it.

20. You've nicknamed the OSX spinning wheel. (and not affectionately)spinning beachball o’ death

21. You bookmark a resource more often than you have a fun night out on the town.

22. You've intentionally overbid a project because you can sniff out a bad client from a mile away.

23. You can't go to a restaurant without secretly critiquing the menu design.

24. You have an amazingly huge font collection, and an amazingly short temper.

25. If you had a penny for every mouse click, you would have been a trillionaire 3 years ago.

26. You have removed the arrows and cleaned up the fonts on a forwarded mail before forwarding on (as I have just done!)

I knew a blonde

I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......

* she called me to get my phone number.

* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."

* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

*she tried to drown a fish.

*she thought a quarterback was a refund.

*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

*she tripped over a cordless phone.

*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

*she studied for a blood test.

*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home